R is for Rage

is for Rage!

By: River Soulshine, Miku M. Lenentine, R. Eric Desselle &  J. D. I. Archaelia L.

Today we continue through the ABC's of Compassionate Dialogue.

We're now exploring the letter ~R~ 
--our standard bearer for words like radiance, and the color of blood & passion, red.

Rage is an emotion often mistaken for anger, or hate. It is an emotion signaling to us (usually in a very obvious way) that we have left center. We may experience a blinding sensation, tightening of the body, deep feeling of constriction, heat rising to the face. And there are many levels. Frustration is a mild version of rage, but ultimately they are the same.

Rage is when we feel like something destructive is happening to us.

When we feel like something destructive is taking place, our natural instinct is to be upset and to desire to fight back in some way. This is a very natural and healthy response to having something destructive happen to you. As we move toward cultivating a healthy ego, we can say, "Hey! I do not deserve to have destructive things happen to me. I am an amazing human being. I do not deserve to have bad things happen to me."

On the other side of things, rage can be very subtle. When we are not getting the love we want to receive, and momentarily forget that we are always worthy of getting the love we want to receive--this can feel very bad. When our amygdala forgets this core component of self-love and someone is not giving us the love we want to receive, it can feel like they are hating us. Or at least a part of us may feel this way--though again, this is very subtle, and most people would prefer not to acknowledge that this experience is occurring.

Often times you can see a child not getting the love they want to receive and they may yell, “I hate you!" They are feeling like something destructive is happening to them; it is natural and authentically upsetting to experience this kind of pain (and for some it can feel like an attack!).

It is at this moment that they are expressing their rage that they have forgotten they deserve to receive the love they want. When we forget we deserve love, or forget to allow ourselves to be worthy of love, it is the biggest violation of all. Such a violation is too hard to bear and this is where we choose to suppress our feelings in our body, building on detours and in-roads that help us to survive in a dissociated and suppressed fight/flight state. That may sound terrible, and it is.

"....I do not deserve to have destructive things happen to me. I am an amazing human being. I do not deserve to have bad things happen to me."

With healthy anger we can get back to unsuppressing so that we can realize how much rage is underneath, in order that we may process it. To be honest, most often the majority of the clarity we are seeking with feelings of anger, is regaining the knowledge that we deserve to be loved in the way we wish to receive love. Clarity is really a return to knowingness and center. A return to remembering we are loved.